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No “I love you” reached his core where he was imploding. It was as if he had a magnetic field surrounding him that deflected positivity. His mother told him frequently she loved him. He would never be one of those people even his own family despised.
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He would never let anyone know his truth – his shame. Her objection came from a place of love but the little boy sank deeper into his chair and squeezed his eyes shut, just in case his disguise wasn’t enough. She didn’t want to believe it of her own brother. “No! Why would you think that?” The little boy’s mother spoke up, standing up for her brother. Some suspected he really had hazel eyes as well and that he might not even be hiding it with contacts anymore. No one wanted to get tagged and be “hazel in the middle.” The little boy’s family went to his grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving one year and some of the family made quiet conversation about an uncle who didn’t come around much. Can you believe he had hazel eyes all this time? Gross!” Kids at recess made jokes and games about hazel eyes. “A reporter caught him at a night club without his contacts. One day he heard some high school kids talking about their favorite musician. He went to church with the kids his age and heard lessons about Heaven and eternal families and the blessings awaiting them…unless they had hazel eyes. He wore his contacts so long that even his own family members believed he had blue eyes. He wore them all the time and never took them out. He wore blue contact lenses to hide his eye color. He always knew he was somehow different and people treated him differently. They were not “normal.” They were seen as other and unnatural. You and I might see hazel eyes as a beautiful and rare variation in God’s tapestry of mortal life, but in his world, people with hazel eyes weren’t trusted. This little boy was born with hazel eyes. I want to tell you a story about a little boy. I’ve shut most of you out for years and my excuses for doing that have run out. I’m finally settled in a place I love and in a career as an interventional radiologist that I’ve spent my whole adult life working toward.
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I’ve had something on my mind for a long time and I haven’t known how to approach it.